Updated: Apr 23, 2019
So, if you read my last #blog you will know that firstly, I ramble a lot, and secondly it was originally going to be what is now this blog post. Again, sorry about that BUT great news- here's the actual content. If you didn't read my last post (shame on you), then in a nutshell this is the first essay that I wrote when embarking on my 200 hour Yoga# teacher training course, over 2 years ago now. It seemed apt when racking my brains about how I should start blog writing for my #website that I share this as my start into #yoga teacher training.
At the time, and still to this day it is a #personal and #emotional piece of writing for me, it brings back things that in some sense can still be unsettling at times. In a way I look back and re read it and want to almost change some of the writing before I share it. I wonder if it actually even makes sense. It may make no sense at all to you, take from it what you will. But I also appreciate that was me then who was writing her thoughts down, and this is me now. To be #authentic and none judgemental is to first and foremost be all of those things towards our self. Life is a #journey- we learn, we grow, we let go.
"Who/what inspired you to learn more about Yoga or seek a Yoga teacher training course?"
I often feel like my #journey into Yoga is somewhat of a cliche; bad events or a challenging chapter in my #life leading me in search of trying to regain #mental and #physical stability and #calm. This may be so, and over time my thoughts and opinions of how my journey began, is progressing, and will go forward change and develop of course. However perhaps more importantly than me thinking about the past circumstances and what led me here is the fact that I am here now, following my #passion, and hopefully one day sharing this passion with others.
Yoga, #spirituality, #mindfulness, alternative therapies and #healing are things that I have always been interested in, but maybe the time was never quite right for me to take this interest more seriously. Not so long ago however, I went through a chapter of my life that left me in what felt like a very dark place for some time, and this is where I feel, through some bright light, I regained my interest in Yoga as a way of having something to #focus on and to help me move forward. I'm still not sure whether I could say that I hoped it would help my fragile body or my fragile mind more, maybe both. But thankfully, I do believe it has, and continues to help me progress and move forward with my life, finding #strength and #clarity in both the physical and mental aspects.
As with most people, there are days that I find harder than others, my mind wanders, I cant control the buzzing of thoughts, I lose focus and dwell in the past or future trip, but no matter how much of this I have going on there is always that time when I am on my mat that I can release this both mentally and physically. I can be aware; but aware of my #breath, the way my body moves, I am aware of #thoughts and #feelings but at this time they no longer overwhelm me, and for that I am in awe of Yoga.
This isn't to say that as a person, and hopefully a future #teacher I am of the opinion that Yoga is only for those who have been through some kind of struggle or hardship, this is just my #personal #experience of my own journey. I truly believe that Yoga can be beneficial for the body, mind, and #lifestyle of anyone, should they wish it to be. I feel that through certain experiences I have had I am coming to a better understanding of myself, and I would like to give something back if I can, by helping others on their journey.
I can pinpoint more obvious reasons as to why I feel such #passion for Yoga and would want to be a Yoga teacher; doing what I love, working in a #happy environment, helping others, feeling physically healthy, and part of me does believe that many people do come to Yoga in search of 'something'. Whether that is better physical health, deeper mental challenges, or simply wanting some time to #relax and forget about their bad day at work. Whatever the reason, Yoga is something that people can turn to and take from it what they need at that moment in their life, which to me is truly a wonderful thing.
Personally I have always been a deep thinker and often find it hard to silence the buzz of my mind, I have often felt like I look at the world and people a little differently, and I guess that's another thing that attracts me to Yoga; being around like minded people where #positive #energy can be exchanged, and also learning to silence my mind and thoughts to a point of #meditation.
My journey into Yoga I believe has started to transform my life, helped me to regain some outer and inner #strength, given me focus and something to feel passionate about again after a time I thought I would never recover from the dark place I was in. It has made me look at people, situations, and life in different ways, and probably most importantly and the hardest task that is ongoing; self #reflection. I believe that this is a journey that will continue for me, and although it has and continues to be confusing and challenging at times, it is one that I also believe to be life changing. I also hope that in the future, through my experience and learning, I can help others to find whatever it is that they need from their Yoga practice.
Yoga has and continues to help me work through a past period of my life, thinking about how I treated myself and others around me. Lies I can now admit I told that hurt myself and my loved ones, guilt that I harboured for these lies, self loathing and feeling like I was so ungrateful for the people and things I had in my life, but not being able to bring myself out of a pit of despair. Lots of feelings stay with me, or reoccur, but through the study of Yoga, #mindfulness, various texts, I find a better understanding of not only myself, but others, and an ability to have a different #perspective on situations than maybe I once had.
I still realise that I can be very judgemental of my own physical practice, which I am trying to work on, and maybe that stems from being over critical of myself in life. I seem to have a want to extend #kindness and #compassion to others (which I do believe is a very important quality and one that I will need as a teacher), but also I need to learn myself, and teach others about #self compassion. Personal #health and well-being is hugely important. After all if you are not in a good place yourself, how can you help others? A lesson I think I am finally learning.
I find kindness and compassion in Yoga. I find #inspiration and meaning in words, sentences, teachers, and I hope that through my teacher training I can one day be a source of inspiration, #knowledge and meaningfulness to others. I have lots to learn about Yoga, and I don't know if there will ever come a time when I feel as if my learning is done. I doubt that, as I feel I will constantly open up new thoughts, feelings, offering of information through my own practice, through training, reading, and mixing with other like minded people, and that in itself is exciting to me.
I think Yoga teacher training has come to me at the right time, where I am at a point of certain experiences giving me #insight into myself, growing and learning, looking at things differently, and seeing and understanding that from a very negative experience there can hopefully be a very positive outcome.
Until next time...